Tuesday, May 24, 2011
6 months left and struggling
It’s late and I can’t fall asleep. So I thought I would get a blog in since it’s been awhile. I had a rough day today that made me question why I am here. I guess it’s that time, the yr and ½ mark where we start to feel anxious about going home, feeling burnt out, and we start to question have we really done enough. Today started out ok. I was in a good mood, I had gone for a walk with my classes, and my KSL class went great. Then I talked to someone about one of my missing students. Now, its typical for students to come to school late…. but not a whole month late. This girl is one of my favorites but also one I struggle with. She has so much potential and yet she risks throwing it away by having sex with everyone. At first I thought she couldn’t come to school due to shortage of school fees. Little did I know she is actually working as a barmaid/prostitute in a nearby town, following the piki piki drivers around. I immediately became worried, although everyone I talked to didn’t seem as worried. At first I felt excluded that no one told me. Then I thought it better to let it go. Even if I had no clue, at least my headmaster was working on contacting the parents and bringing her back. So I tried to keep my day going, focusing on other issues....like our health club. During the past few days I have been talking with a fellow teacher about getting a health club started. I had gotten permission, we had talked to the students and our first meeting was going to be on Friday. Just this evening, I had been informed that the visitors who I had seen come by the other day were going to teach a life skills class once every week, for 3 months. According to the visitors our school does not provide life skills classes or a health club…..I have been teaching life skills since day one and I was in the process of starting a health club. I can tell you I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me yet again. I am the only teacher here who teaches life skills. Why hadn’t they invited me to meet the visitors? Attended the meeting with them? Informed me BEFORE I got everything organized for our health club? I am starting to feel like my job here is useless. Have I done anything here that they are proud of? Part of me knows that’s what I want, to have my school take the lead, utilize the people in the community. But part of me feels like it’s too soon, if they do that, then what will I be working on for the next 6 months? Im not ready to give up my kids yet. It’s a struggle I know I will be facing more and more as my service comes to a close. I just wasn’t ready for it to happen this soon.
Is it a Holiday if you have to work?
I know it’s been awhile. It has been one wild ride and I needed sometime to come down from it. Let me just show you how crazy my “holiday” was.
1st week: Nairobi: The minute school closed I headed to Nairobi for a week to work on my VCT Deaf friendly project. Happy to announce it’s officially finished!!! Anyway, while in Nairobi I got really sick but luckily I was where the doctors were and was patched up before I headed to my next destination: Kilifi.
2nd week: Kilifi: I headed to Kilifi, which is on the coast, for Camp GLOW( Girl.s Leading Our World). In spite of some heartbreaking setbacks, the girls who were deaf were not able to go, Camp GLOW was a success. Surprisingly, I struggled with teaching the hearing girls. I felt like I had fallen into a time warp. It felt like my first day at my school, not knowing the local sign language and having to teach. I felt uncomfortable with the girls and bombed my lessons. Instead of teaching kids who are pretty closed off from the community and whats going on, I was teaching students who already knew what I was teaching. It was a learning experience for me for sure. But in the end I think we touched and inspired a lot of girls. Straight from Kilifi I headed to my next destination: ZANZIBAR!!!!!!
3rd week: ZANZIBAR!!!!!: Literally the camp closed on sat morning and I was on a plane by noon heading to Zanzibar. What an amazing holiday. I have fallen in love with the country and the people. I had a bit of culture shock with the airport. It felt so weird to be on an airplane when living in the village for 1yr and ½. It was a 30min flight from mombasa to Zanzibar and yet we got a drink AND a sandwich. By the time I got mine unwrapped, we were descending. Oh and what a decent! Crystal blue waters, lush landscapes. I was so excited. We stayed in stone town for 2 nights and enjoyed the fish market where we ate grilled barracuda, marlin, snapper and shark while watching the local children jumping off the docks while the sun sets behind them. We were surprised how friendly the locals were. We walked from the main square to our hotel in the dark, we would have never even thought of doing that in Kenya, and no one even batted an eye towards us or harassed us. The whole time I never got hit on while in Zanzibar. After stone town, we headed to Jambiani Beach on the east side of the island. Unlike other beaches in Zanzibar, Jambiani is a village and is not very touristed or developed. We got a bungalow right on the beach and were the only tourists there. We spent the next 4 nights sleeping, collecting shells and eating the incredible seafood. When the tide was out, we would walk and visit with the mamas and their seaweed farms. The boys at the hotel put on a bonfire for my birthday on our last night. Thoughts of deserting Peace Corps and staying in Zanzibar actually went through our minds. In the end we packed up and made a promise that we would return. Next was South Coast and Nairobi.
4th week: South Coast/Nairobi: Part 2 of our holiday started off a little rough. Remember how I said I never got hit on while in Zanzibar? Well about 30 min after we touched down, a tout told me to “ talk more Swahili to him because he wanted me.” I spent the rest of the day traveling to our hotel, arguing with touts about hiking up the prices and giving us the mzungu price. I was close to slapping someone and kept thinking about turning around and going back to Zanzibar. However, once we got to our hotel, things started to turn around. Our hotel had a pool! The first and only pool I had been in since…..ok I can’t even remember the last time I was in a pool. Although we were just a short walk to the beach, we spent the next few days swimming in the pool, having swim races and handstand competitions. I thought we were in 5th grade again. For my birthday dinner, my friend took me to a restaurant that was actually IN a cave. It was beautiful. The cave ceiling was open so you could see the stares while you ate. And the food!!!!!! Amazing! They also came out and sang to me and gave us 2 pieces of passion fruit cheesecake. I was so stuffed by the end, I almost could not change into my pj’s. Despite the rough start, it was a good ending to a great vacation. But now it was back to Nairobi and work.
We spent the rest of our month finishing up our project and training the new volunteers. It was great to see everyone again and of course feast on the amazing food before heading back to the village. And back to the village we went to finish my 2nd to last term…..
1st week: Nairobi: The minute school closed I headed to Nairobi for a week to work on my VCT Deaf friendly project. Happy to announce it’s officially finished!!! Anyway, while in Nairobi I got really sick but luckily I was where the doctors were and was patched up before I headed to my next destination: Kilifi.
2nd week: Kilifi: I headed to Kilifi, which is on the coast, for Camp GLOW( Girl.s Leading Our World). In spite of some heartbreaking setbacks, the girls who were deaf were not able to go, Camp GLOW was a success. Surprisingly, I struggled with teaching the hearing girls. I felt like I had fallen into a time warp. It felt like my first day at my school, not knowing the local sign language and having to teach. I felt uncomfortable with the girls and bombed my lessons. Instead of teaching kids who are pretty closed off from the community and whats going on, I was teaching students who already knew what I was teaching. It was a learning experience for me for sure. But in the end I think we touched and inspired a lot of girls. Straight from Kilifi I headed to my next destination: ZANZIBAR!!!!!!
3rd week: ZANZIBAR!!!!!: Literally the camp closed on sat morning and I was on a plane by noon heading to Zanzibar. What an amazing holiday. I have fallen in love with the country and the people. I had a bit of culture shock with the airport. It felt so weird to be on an airplane when living in the village for 1yr and ½. It was a 30min flight from mombasa to Zanzibar and yet we got a drink AND a sandwich. By the time I got mine unwrapped, we were descending. Oh and what a decent! Crystal blue waters, lush landscapes. I was so excited. We stayed in stone town for 2 nights and enjoyed the fish market where we ate grilled barracuda, marlin, snapper and shark while watching the local children jumping off the docks while the sun sets behind them. We were surprised how friendly the locals were. We walked from the main square to our hotel in the dark, we would have never even thought of doing that in Kenya, and no one even batted an eye towards us or harassed us. The whole time I never got hit on while in Zanzibar. After stone town, we headed to Jambiani Beach on the east side of the island. Unlike other beaches in Zanzibar, Jambiani is a village and is not very touristed or developed. We got a bungalow right on the beach and were the only tourists there. We spent the next 4 nights sleeping, collecting shells and eating the incredible seafood. When the tide was out, we would walk and visit with the mamas and their seaweed farms. The boys at the hotel put on a bonfire for my birthday on our last night. Thoughts of deserting Peace Corps and staying in Zanzibar actually went through our minds. In the end we packed up and made a promise that we would return. Next was South Coast and Nairobi.
4th week: South Coast/Nairobi: Part 2 of our holiday started off a little rough. Remember how I said I never got hit on while in Zanzibar? Well about 30 min after we touched down, a tout told me to “ talk more Swahili to him because he wanted me.” I spent the rest of the day traveling to our hotel, arguing with touts about hiking up the prices and giving us the mzungu price. I was close to slapping someone and kept thinking about turning around and going back to Zanzibar. However, once we got to our hotel, things started to turn around. Our hotel had a pool! The first and only pool I had been in since…..ok I can’t even remember the last time I was in a pool. Although we were just a short walk to the beach, we spent the next few days swimming in the pool, having swim races and handstand competitions. I thought we were in 5th grade again. For my birthday dinner, my friend took me to a restaurant that was actually IN a cave. It was beautiful. The cave ceiling was open so you could see the stares while you ate. And the food!!!!!! Amazing! They also came out and sang to me and gave us 2 pieces of passion fruit cheesecake. I was so stuffed by the end, I almost could not change into my pj’s. Despite the rough start, it was a good ending to a great vacation. But now it was back to Nairobi and work.
We spent the rest of our month finishing up our project and training the new volunteers. It was great to see everyone again and of course feast on the amazing food before heading back to the village. And back to the village we went to finish my 2nd to last term…..
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