Oh the joys of adulthood!

So this week has been a shitty week. If you read my blog, you’ll knowI had some issues trying to take my kids to the local VCT and instead got the school to agree to bring the Deaf VCT here to the school. For the last month or so I have been on the internet, phone and talking people’s ear off trying to plan this event. When I first started, my school said money was not an issue. I knew we were still a special school with no extra money to splurge so I worked hard trying to cut every corner I could in terms of money. Last week I was told the school had no money…at all! I was devastated and called a contact at Peace Corps to help me figure out what to do. In the end he recommended to cancel it. I cried when I wrote the email to the contact at VCT canceling the event that my kids needed. Well, the week just kept getting better and better.

The weekend before, I had caught some kids missing church. I told my counterpart but another teacher overheard. Later on she asked for the names and I begged her to not beat them. She said we needed to make examples of the boys and will only beat one and she went so far as to tell me she would make me do it. She would make me stand there and beat the boys until I cried and ran away. I refused to give her the names and told her I would not stand for that. She accused me of "harboring criminals"..... they missed church! Not kill someone! Well the fun of my week did not end there.
I got into my first confrontation with a fellow teacher. Ok maybe not the first but the first one that needed the aide of the headmaster. It has left me emotionally drained and frustrated. Im glad I am going to Nairobi tomorrow. I need a break. Why must adults act like children? Now, I don’t mean the child at heart kind of thing but ignoring a problem and or person? To me it’s childish and I find it so frustrating. I asked many other people how to deal with her, with no help in return. This problem has been hanging around us filling the room with smoke for awhile now. Today was when we saw the fire. It was all smooth going back during my first term and then I guess I opened my eyes to who she really was. I have separated myself from her but I figured since shes still my colleague we could still be civil. For the last week or so, shes been ignoring me. I greet her, I ask her something, and she just looks the other way. I have asked her twice what I have done to deserve this…I get nothing. Now, if this was anyone else I would just say shes a b***h and go on with my business. However, I needed some papers that she kept for my class 8 and with her ignoring me, I was having a hard time acquiring them. I decided to use the American way since the Kenyan way was getting me no where. I was going to be calm, direct and try to keep my frustrations at bay and be polite. I thought the best way would be to do it in the staff room. I stupidly thought if other teachers were around, then it wouldn’t get out of hand. Boy was I wrong. She snapped at me which lead to me snapping at her. But I guess it all worked out in the end because the headmaster finally decided it was time to deal with it. We both sat and told our side of things. She got a high and mighty attitude with me and I could see this going nowhere. I decided if she still wants to act like a child, I could be the bigger person and show her how to act like an adult. So I apologized for any wrong doing I may have done to her, any miscommunication that may have happened with us and shook her hand. Did she follow my lead and apologize to me? She decided it was more fun to act like a child.

Later I heard the teachers talking about me. Everyone was siding with her. I put on a brave front but then went to my house and cried. I felt alone, pissed off, wanting to just call her a b***h and catch the next flight home. I was frustrated with myself with how I let her get to me and breaking one of my term 3 revolutions. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hide in my house all day, I still had a class to make work for before I left and since the teacher wouldn’t give me the papers I needed I had to find something else. I went back to school to use the copy machine. While in there another teacher came in. She was one of the few teachers I didn’t really talk to much. She’s normally quite and we teach different grades. She put her hand on my shoulder and told me she’s heard everything that’s happened and to not worry about the other teachers. She explained when it comes to me, some teachers turn stupid and to ignore them. I arrived alone and will go home alone. She apologized for not talking to me more but that she was there if I needed her. I felt better knowing I still had a few teachers on my side. So I broke a revolution. I let the teachers drama get to me. But I guess everyone is allowed a slip or two. I guess its time just to pick myself up, try to improve and continue on. Plus, if I leave now, who will show her the ropes to this whole adult thing.